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Date Posted:  03-23-2009

Children’s Developmental Stages and Reactions to Serious Illness

 
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When talking with children it is important to use appropriate language. Children thrive when given reasonable information. Too much information will only confuse them and create anxiety. Ask children questions in order to assess their knowledge level.

Under Two Years Old

  • Don’t understand what illness is
  • Sense feelings of adults
  • Depend on non-verbal communications  (Need physical care, affection  and reassurance)

Three - Five Years Old

  • View illness as being temporary
  • Question cause of illness
  • May feel the illness of a loved one is  a punishment
  • Feel sadness
  • Regressive behaviors
  • Increased aggression
  • Idealize the ill person
  • Give up attachment to the ill person; attach to  substitute people (teacher, neighbor, etc.)
  • Escape into play, at time, to relieve   themselves of  reality; seem not to react to the illness
  • Need reassurance, love, care, honesty,  daily routine and structure.

Five - Ten Years Old

  • Fear illness of self and others
  • Feel anger and guilt (blames self  for illness)
  • Have difficulty expressing feelings  in words
  • Express feelings through behavior;   compulsive care giving and good behavior, or aggressiveness as a defense against feeling helpless.
  • Ask concrete questions

Ten - Eighteen Years Old

  • May be troubled about own illnesses
  • May experience denial (try not to think   about it; don’t want to talk  about it)
  • Fear of future
  • Hide feelings
  • May feel anger, repress sadness, be depressed
  • May have physical complaints

To request counseling services, please ask parents or guardians to contact the Stepping Stones Program (727) 523-3458